Post by Magicman on Aug 30, 2006 0:27:24 GMT -5
Chapter One: Unfortunate Events
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Death isn't something to laugh at. I should know, I have died before. It was awhile ago that I died though, it's not so clear, but it's clear enough for me to tell you the basics. It was a Friday night, I was doing the things I do Fridays, sitting back on my ass and drinking something I couldn't pronounce. Burn came in the room complaining about something that Cold did, something about drinking all the beer? I dunno, I wasn't paying attention. He came and sat next to me, I was basically out of it, "So...whats up with you?" he said. I looked at him..."Uhh, I don't know..I feel I'm missing something in my life" I replayed. Burn took a long stare "Well....maybe a good night out could cheer you up?". We left for the Greece Oil Bar.
A good bar, but bad people. On the way over a Hobo jumped on the car while we were moving, he started cleaning our wind shield, Burn didn't take kindly to someone but him touching his new car, so...he set the guy on fire till the Hobo was nothing more but bone. "Was that necessary?" I said. "He touched my god damn car, how would you feel if someone touched yer dick and it wasn't someone you had the flame for?". "I guess your right..." I replied. When we got to the bar it was already closed (How does a fucking bar close?) We went back in the car and started on the road again, looking for any open clubs or bars. Thats when we hit a fucking Dog.
Burn: Yo man, what the fuck we hit?
Me: Hell, I dunno why don't you go check?
Burn: *Mumbles*
"Hey...man...we hit a Fucking DOG!" said Burner. I got outta the car, "Man, whats it look lik-- Oh....FUCK!" It seemed the Dog was...you guessed it, Megamans Little prick of a Dog, Rush. "Oh man, oh man, oh man...If Rush is here, then Megaman HAS to be near by!". "Don't Panic Burn, it's fucking Megaman, he won't care, he's a fucking stoner". "Lets just throw him to the side of the road and ditch it."
"Man...Magic...I don't think we shou--"
*VERRRRRRRR* *BAM! BAM! VROOOOOOM!*
"Fucking Shi--" *BOOM* Burn was just hit, by Megaman, how could I tell, he shot me next and screamed something, him and his gay little 6 year old voice is unignorable. I fell to the ground with a dented arm, Burn was out cold though...and for him thats kinda hard. The next thing I knew I was back at home in the Med room. "Aww...My head...shit....what happened?" I looked around the room, uhh...Cold? You--You there? "No, yah jack ass drunkie it's Tengu" "Huh...Tenguman...what the fuck you talking bout...your the drunkie..." "You'd drink more than me...if pirate and Cold didn't pig the beer". After a few hours of mindless fighting, I finally asked about Burn. Seems he wasn't found. So, the next day i set out, me and Dyna were still sleepy, but we just had to get Burn back..for two reasons. 1# He is a good friend and B. He cooks our food. We got to the "Site" where they found me in less then an hour after we left. We looked around and very stupidly, jumped down into a pit near by the road. Inside it was basically pitch black, but I just took out me wand and boom! The place was glowing like Burns ass (Just kidding man) We went deep in and found that the pit turned to a cave, a fucking big one too.
Dyna: Man...this place is biiiig
Me: Yeah...bigger then Pirates Ego...Hehe
Dyna: Whatever man, you ain't perfect either...
Me: I agree. But lets just find Burn..lets ge--
And thats when we saw him. Burn was on the floor, not dead, but close enough to it. We took em home and sat next to him eating Ice Cream for bout a day. When he finally woke up the first thing he said shocked us...."You guys...Suck Dick" Yeah I know, We do, but come on, it did shock us thats the first thing he said. He went to sleep after that. We decided to go see Snakes on a Plane, and Visit the Beer Expo. "Man...We're jack asses" said Pirateman.
We got home again and Burn was up watching T.V. "So wassup Burn? You Good now?" "No Tengu...I was blasted...in the fucking..neck..and it...FUCKING...HURTS" We ran after that, since he threw glass swords at us...wait...what? A week after hiding in the basement (Pff, Jk we're to cheap to have a basement, we hid in a closet) we came out and it seemed Burn was back to normal. We got a serious message from Dr.Lights home at about 7:00pm that day. Megaman was on the phone and he said that he planted a bomb in Burners Head, he also said "Muhahahaha! It shall.....(Just wait....reading cards.....ah here we go) esplode in 7 days, and it shall completely wipe out everyone in a Country wide of him. I didn't really know how Megaman was the good guy here (Or how he would survive the blast) But I do know one thing....
Everyone: Oh....fucking...SHIT
Author Comments:
Yeah, short first Chapter, shut up. 12 Fucks overall though, not bad for me.
------------------
Death isn't something to laugh at. I should know, I have died before. It was awhile ago that I died though, it's not so clear, but it's clear enough for me to tell you the basics. It was a Friday night, I was doing the things I do Fridays, sitting back on my ass and drinking something I couldn't pronounce. Burn came in the room complaining about something that Cold did, something about drinking all the beer? I dunno, I wasn't paying attention. He came and sat next to me, I was basically out of it, "So...whats up with you?" he said. I looked at him..."Uhh, I don't know..I feel I'm missing something in my life" I replayed. Burn took a long stare "Well....maybe a good night out could cheer you up?". We left for the Greece Oil Bar.
A good bar, but bad people. On the way over a Hobo jumped on the car while we were moving, he started cleaning our wind shield, Burn didn't take kindly to someone but him touching his new car, so...he set the guy on fire till the Hobo was nothing more but bone. "Was that necessary?" I said. "He touched my god damn car, how would you feel if someone touched yer dick and it wasn't someone you had the flame for?". "I guess your right..." I replied. When we got to the bar it was already closed (How does a fucking bar close?) We went back in the car and started on the road again, looking for any open clubs or bars. Thats when we hit a fucking Dog.
Burn: Yo man, what the fuck we hit?
Me: Hell, I dunno why don't you go check?
Burn: *Mumbles*
"Hey...man...we hit a Fucking DOG!" said Burner. I got outta the car, "Man, whats it look lik-- Oh....FUCK!" It seemed the Dog was...you guessed it, Megamans Little prick of a Dog, Rush. "Oh man, oh man, oh man...If Rush is here, then Megaman HAS to be near by!". "Don't Panic Burn, it's fucking Megaman, he won't care, he's a fucking stoner". "Lets just throw him to the side of the road and ditch it."
"Man...Magic...I don't think we shou--"
*VERRRRRRRR* *BAM! BAM! VROOOOOOM!*
"Fucking Shi--" *BOOM* Burn was just hit, by Megaman, how could I tell, he shot me next and screamed something, him and his gay little 6 year old voice is unignorable. I fell to the ground with a dented arm, Burn was out cold though...and for him thats kinda hard. The next thing I knew I was back at home in the Med room. "Aww...My head...shit....what happened?" I looked around the room, uhh...Cold? You--You there? "No, yah jack ass drunkie it's Tengu" "Huh...Tenguman...what the fuck you talking bout...your the drunkie..." "You'd drink more than me...if pirate and Cold didn't pig the beer". After a few hours of mindless fighting, I finally asked about Burn. Seems he wasn't found. So, the next day i set out, me and Dyna were still sleepy, but we just had to get Burn back..for two reasons. 1# He is a good friend and B. He cooks our food. We got to the "Site" where they found me in less then an hour after we left. We looked around and very stupidly, jumped down into a pit near by the road. Inside it was basically pitch black, but I just took out me wand and boom! The place was glowing like Burns ass (Just kidding man) We went deep in and found that the pit turned to a cave, a fucking big one too.
Dyna: Man...this place is biiiig
Me: Yeah...bigger then Pirates Ego...Hehe
Dyna: Whatever man, you ain't perfect either...
Me: I agree. But lets just find Burn..lets ge--
And thats when we saw him. Burn was on the floor, not dead, but close enough to it. We took em home and sat next to him eating Ice Cream for bout a day. When he finally woke up the first thing he said shocked us...."You guys...Suck Dick" Yeah I know, We do, but come on, it did shock us thats the first thing he said. He went to sleep after that. We decided to go see Snakes on a Plane, and Visit the Beer Expo. "Man...We're jack asses" said Pirateman.
We got home again and Burn was up watching T.V. "So wassup Burn? You Good now?" "No Tengu...I was blasted...in the fucking..neck..and it...FUCKING...HURTS" We ran after that, since he threw glass swords at us...wait...what? A week after hiding in the basement (Pff, Jk we're to cheap to have a basement, we hid in a closet) we came out and it seemed Burn was back to normal. We got a serious message from Dr.Lights home at about 7:00pm that day. Megaman was on the phone and he said that he planted a bomb in Burners Head, he also said "Muhahahaha! It shall.....(Just wait....reading cards.....ah here we go) esplode in 7 days, and it shall completely wipe out everyone in a Country wide of him. I didn't really know how Megaman was the good guy here (Or how he would survive the blast) But I do know one thing....
Everyone: Oh....fucking...SHIT
Author Comments:
Yeah, short first Chapter, shut up. 12 Fucks overall though, not bad for me.
